Just Get Away

I remember being hesitant when I read the email from my auntie asking me if I wanted to go in on a little beach house for a “girls only” weekend getaway.  My mind flooded with every reason why I couldn’t and shouldn’t go.  Who would take care of the day to day stuff around the house?  How was my husband going to handle being the only parent for 48 entire hours?  Who was going to do the dishes and wash the clothes?  Would he remember to give the animals their medicine?  I suddenly envisioned my daughter jumping up and down on the couches at 10 o’clock at night and eating ice cream all weekend…..and then it hit me.   I should be the one jumping on couches somewhere into the night and eating ice cream all weekend.   I needed to not be responsible.  I needed to not have to cook a meal, or wash a dish, or do the laundry.  I needed to be me, and not a mother, or a wife for two whole days.

We made it happen and three weeks later I was heading down to a cottage in Old Lyme, CT.  There was a short lived twinge of guilt as I backed out of my driveway leaving my not so enthused husband and daughter behind.  I had to chant to myself over and over, “You deserve this.  You deserve this.  You deserve this,” and after about thirty seconds, I embraced the mantra and really believed it.  The guilt was gone and I was determined to savor the next 48 hours of some uninterrupted me time.

As I pulled up to the cottage, I couldn’t help but smile when I saw one of my aunties come out.  It is such an incredible feeling to see someone you love so much so excited to see you too…someone that truly gets you and what you are going through on a day to day basis.  We are all moms, so the first words out of her mouth were, “forget your husband, forget your job and the kids…….this is our weekend.  It is about us and not doing anything for anyone.”

Done” I said.

And so it began.   We played games, drank wine, and shared stories about each other…….we laughed so hard that we cried, and we cried so hard that we laughed and decided we were not going to wait seven years to do this again.

There will always be laundry to do, and dishes to clean, but life is too short to live it and not love it.  You just need to get away.

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From Where I Stand

I have an amazing room in my house that used to be “the office”.  You know, a place where crap was thrown down, where bills piled up, in a sense, a room that wasn’t really used, but rather a dumping ground for what my husband and I didn’t want to deal with right away.  And after being sick of five years of the piling up and a room that wasn’t really functional,  I finally transformed it into my own space and made it a meditation room.

If you were to ask my seven-year old nephew what it now looked like, he would appropriately call it “Auntie’s Fancy Room”, which I think is perfect!   Pretty white lights hang on the terracotta walls and a large mirror reflects the 3 bay windows letting double the natural light in.  I have 2 bookcases filled with my little treasures and books.  A large framed picture of my girlfriends and I overlooking the ocean sits on the wall beneath a large beautiful piece of art that spells out the word, “BELIEVE”.  It is my haven.  It is my thinking space.  It is where I go when I need to let go of my day.

Every night, I light some incense and  stare at the picture of my friends looking out at the deep blue ocean, and I imagine the endless possibilities.  What are those waves bringing into my life?  What does the universe or God have in store for me?  I let it all wash over me.  I think about the day and the drama, and I give it all back.  With a few deep breaths, I let it cleanse my soul, and truly let go of the stress.   If I didn’t do that, then I just might ponder too long on a thought and take something personally that wasn’t my issue in the first place.

It happens all too often and it’s a shame really, how we tend to take on other people’s drama in the blink of an eye.   We are so quick to react to life, instead of taking that much-needed destressing breath, stepping back, counting to ten, and really think about what should come next.  It’s unfortunate that our mouths tend to work quicker than our brains do, because once we put something out there, we can’t take it back.  I know that I am guilty of it and I work HARD to bite my tongue on a daily basis.

I think we need to ask ourselves, is it really that important to be right at the risk of losing a relationship, or is it better to be kind and give the other person the benefit of the doubt?  We all have our days and I wish that people could see that life itself is about perspective.  There is what I see, and there is what others see.  And from where I stand, there is no such thing as right or wrong.  There just is.  Period.

If we were to be facing each other, you and I, and the sun was setting, I would say, “The sun is to my left,” yet, you, opposite me, would say, “No, the sun is to my right,” and we would both be right.  That is how I try to look at disagreements, and misunderstandings.  It’s all about perspective, and beliefs.  Everyone has feelings that are real.  We all want the same things; to be heard, loved , and validated.

Try just once in your day to believe that what other people say and do is about them, and their issues, and not about you and yours.  Take a deep breath, count to ten, and be kind.  I promise you, it will always feel better than being right.

 

 

 

happiness is…….

being on a beach with your most amazing friends, sitting in the short little half chairs that you fall off of when you go to sit into them .  It’s eating half covered in sand laughing cow cheese and ritz crackers, sharing organic coconut macaroons that you pay $7 a bag for but think, “what the hell, I’d pay this much in ingredients just to make these from scratch anyway” macaroons, cheetos that stain your fingers orange but you don’t care because sand doesn’t care if you get orange in it the way your couch would care at home.  It’s dusty toe rings and sandy legs with wind whipping hair from the breeze coming off the ocean.  It’s random strangers who tell you that your umbrella blew away while you were taking pictures by the water with your girlfriends, so they chased it down the beach knowing that if it were their umbrella, that they would want you to do the same, and you would.