From Where I Stand

I have an amazing room in my house that used to be “the office”.  You know, a place where crap was thrown down, where bills piled up, in a sense, a room that wasn’t really used, but rather a dumping ground for what my husband and I didn’t want to deal with right away.  And after being sick of five years of the piling up and a room that wasn’t really functional,  I finally transformed it into my own space and made it a meditation room.

If you were to ask my seven-year old nephew what it now looked like, he would appropriately call it “Auntie’s Fancy Room”, which I think is perfect!   Pretty white lights hang on the terracotta walls and a large mirror reflects the 3 bay windows letting double the natural light in.  I have 2 bookcases filled with my little treasures and books.  A large framed picture of my girlfriends and I overlooking the ocean sits on the wall beneath a large beautiful piece of art that spells out the word, “BELIEVE”.  It is my haven.  It is my thinking space.  It is where I go when I need to let go of my day.

Every night, I light some incense and  stare at the picture of my friends looking out at the deep blue ocean, and I imagine the endless possibilities.  What are those waves bringing into my life?  What does the universe or God have in store for me?  I let it all wash over me.  I think about the day and the drama, and I give it all back.  With a few deep breaths, I let it cleanse my soul, and truly let go of the stress.   If I didn’t do that, then I just might ponder too long on a thought and take something personally that wasn’t my issue in the first place.

It happens all too often and it’s a shame really, how we tend to take on other people’s drama in the blink of an eye.   We are so quick to react to life, instead of taking that much-needed destressing breath, stepping back, counting to ten, and really think about what should come next.  It’s unfortunate that our mouths tend to work quicker than our brains do, because once we put something out there, we can’t take it back.  I know that I am guilty of it and I work HARD to bite my tongue on a daily basis.

I think we need to ask ourselves, is it really that important to be right at the risk of losing a relationship, or is it better to be kind and give the other person the benefit of the doubt?  We all have our days and I wish that people could see that life itself is about perspective.  There is what I see, and there is what others see.  And from where I stand, there is no such thing as right or wrong.  There just is.  Period.

If we were to be facing each other, you and I, and the sun was setting, I would say, “The sun is to my left,” yet, you, opposite me, would say, “No, the sun is to my right,” and we would both be right.  That is how I try to look at disagreements, and misunderstandings.  It’s all about perspective, and beliefs.  Everyone has feelings that are real.  We all want the same things; to be heard, loved , and validated.

Try just once in your day to believe that what other people say and do is about them, and their issues, and not about you and yours.  Take a deep breath, count to ten, and be kind.  I promise you, it will always feel better than being right.

 

 

 

Advertisements

The Best Advice I Never Got

At 38 years old, I find myself wishing that I still had my mother to make everything better and to give me her best advice.

I want her to kiss my forehead and tell me everything is going to be okay when I feel like it won’t.

When I have a bad day, I want to pick up the phone and call her and have her tell me it’s just a bad day, and not a bad life. (https://www.facebook.com/pages/IMPERFECTLY-PERFECT/236483019712520)

I want her to tell me to not over-think things because I’ll end up creating problems that weren’t even there in the first place.  (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Honesty-Open-Mindedness-And-Willingness/226695274007482)

I want her to validate my feelings and hug me when I need it, because even though I’m strong, I need my hand to be held every once in awhile too.

She won’t ever be able to do any of those things though because thirty- three years ago, she took her own life.   And the part of me that can’t fathom, as a mom myself, what she did, feels like she took a huge part of my own life with her when she left that December day in 1978.

But I can’t reach for anything new if my hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.  (https://www.facebook.com/possibilityoftoday)

All I can do is my best.  And when I find that piece of advice that my mother might have given me if she were still alive,  I share it.  And that is what Loving Karma is all about.  https://www.facebook.com/LovingKarma