Displaying items by tag: love

Wednesday, 27 January 2021 03:35

Re-Gifting: An Act of Self-Love

Hi, my name is Angela. I’m a Feng Shui Consultant, and I have a confession to make: 

I’m a serial re-gifter. (Sorry Mom & Dad, Sister, Daughter, Boyfriend… everyone.)

Not all gifts though… just the ones I know I won’t use or don’t love. It’s a cardinal Feng Shui rule that was instilled in me by both of my teachers, “Tisha Morris" and “Karen Rauch Carter.”   

It doesn’t make a difference either, how close I am to the person giving me the gift. 

And I’m not done outing myself yet: sometimes I donate these gifts to people I don’t even know… and have been doing this for years. 

There. The cat’s out of the gift bag.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t ever open a gift in front of a person and actually say, “uh… totally not keeping THAT.” (Even though my inside voice may speak such words freely in my own head, I know better than to actually say it out loud.)

I truly am grateful and appreciative for the love that was put into picking out whatever was intended for me. However, I would rather see someone make good use of this thing that would otherwise just sit in a dark closet or drawer for the rest of it’s life, had I held onto it.  (And if you know Feng Shui, then you understand the thing that sits unused and unloved in your home may start to reflect the same kind of energy in your life somewhere; maybe it’s ‘you’ who ends up feeling unloved/unappreciated as a result of this, because our homes are a reflection of ourselves and that’s how energy works.)

Sometimes the gift goes to a church raffle, or to my daughter’s school fundraiser as a Bingo prize, or to an auction that raises money for a good cause. It has also simply just gone to the Salvation Army, or Big Brothers and Big Sisters, because I know at least there, it will become the true treasure it deserves to be for someone else. 

While this may seem harsh or extreme to some, I personally don’t see this as a problem… anymore. And when I say “anymore” I am admitting that I used to be mortified at the thought of doing such a thing. There was a time in my life where I found love in these gifts, believing that they represented and held the energy of the person that gave them to me. Even though I knew I would never use it, it stayed somewhere in my home, because getting rid of the gift felt like I was callously ‘getting rid of’ the person who gave it to me. 

Curious to know how others handled receiving these types of gifts, I posted this question on Facebook:

“When you receive a gift from a loved one, and you open it and it warms your heart that they thought of you and got you something, BUT, it’s not something  you would have picked out for yourself…..what do YOU do with the gift?  After you say thank you and your special occasion is over, what do you do with the gift that you KNOW you won’t use or don’t love? Keep it? Put it in a closet? Regift? Donate? Return?” 

Some posted their answers straight to my Facebook wall for the world to see, while others took the private message approach, not wanting their friends and loved ones to know what they actually did with their gifts. And to keep my friends from needing to join a Witness Protection Program over their answers, I am keeping everyone anonymous:

  • “I usually keep them but am about to clear them all out. They’ll be donated.”
  • “I may put it on a shelf or a hanger, but when I touch it again, I see the person who gave it to me and that is the true gift.”
  • “I donate it in loving kindness.” 
  • “Usually donate, never regift; that’s tacky.  And if it’s truly hideous I’ll toss it.” 
  • “It depends if the giver would notice if it was gone or not.”
  • “If someone thought of you, it’s worth keeping.”
  • “Donate it after thanking them profusely.  I love to see someone utilize something I can’t.”
  • “Why let the money go to waste! Regift!”
  • “I keep it until they block me on Facebook. Then I feel it’s okay to get rid of it lol.” 
  • “It depends on who gave you the gift.”
  • “Toss it.”
  • “Keep it but feel incredibly guilty about not using it.” 

Guilt. Oooooh. Insert <biting my fist>. Let’s dive deeper.

The things that we surround ourselves with either uplift us, or drain us; no matter who gave them to you. And when the gift you keep, that you don’t like but won’t get rid of, results in “incredible feelings of guilt,” then guess what? That feeling will start to expand because now it’s in your home. 

Have you ever heard of the word entrainment? It is when our biological and physiological bodies actually start synchronizing with external environmental cues around us. 

That means, when you hold onto a gift out of guilt, that gift becomes your new external environmental cue, a.k.a guilty-energy. In. Your. Living. Space. 

And then it happens; you entrain to the guilty-energy and your physical body starts manifesting symptoms as a result of this. I’m not sure about you, but a gift I know I won’t use or don’t love is not worth keeping in exchange for the excessive release of cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can weaken our immune systems, increase our heart rate & blood pressure, cause depression, and create anxiety. 

Entrainment is not biased though. The opposite is true for things we keep and love that make us smile. When we feel happy, our brain releases dopamine giving us all the warm and fuzzy feelings that make us feel good. This process actually strengthens our immune systems and reduces depression and anxiety in addition to lowering our heart rates. 

You may never have made these correlations before reading this, but everything that surrounds you truly affects you on the deepest of cellular levels. This is why we, as Feng Shui Consultants, do our best to encourage you, our clients, to keep only the things that you use or love.

We want to help you create a space that feels sacred, uplifting and encourages your body and mind to heal. Feng Shui is all about making these connections. 

For those of you who have relationships that prohibit you from re-gifting, I get it. My advice for you is this: pick your battles. In these situations, I recommend creating a sacred space for these gifts somewhere that feels right for you, keeping in mind they should be purposefully placed with intention, and in an organized fashion. 

While I’m not asking you to become a serial re-gifter like me, I do encourage you to consider how it can impact your health. There’s no right or wrong way to do this – it’s all about finding your own balance. That, in itself, is an act of self-love.

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